After
by The Lonely Geek
Summary: Sequel to He was never supposed to be chosen. While Sapphire went through everything that she did,how was Zoey feeling? What will happen to her now ***SPOILER for He was never supposed to be chosen *** Sapphire's dead?
1. Chapter 1: A web of lies

**I know I said I wasn't going to start this fic for a while, but personal stuff has happened and I needed to escape to another world so I ended up writing this chapter and half the next one. This takes place the day after ***Spoilers if you haven't read the 63rd hunger games*** Sapphire commits suicide. I originally planned for this story to be only two chapters long but I think its gonna end up being between 5 and 7. Updates should be out every week or at least every two weeks. Enjoy and please tell me what you think.**

 **Chapter 1: A web of lies**

Zoey's POV

Sapphire's been acting really weird since she came back from the victory tour. I think it's just because it stirred up stuff with Carter again though. It's best to give her space when she's upset. We don't really talk about Carter much, I bring him up in conversation her eyes start to water and I hate seeing her like that. She's like a sister to me. A sister crossed with a mum and a best friend. I was so glad when she offered to take me in. My parents used to beat me but I couldn't tell anyone because I'd have had to move to a community home. From what I had heard, community homes sounded a lot worse than my parents hitting me.

Carter was the first person who ever properly cared about was before. He saw a bruise on my arm. He asked me who did it.

"My mum." I replied. There wasn't much point in lying. No one would care if I told them the truth.

"I have some salve for bruises at home if you want me to bring it in?" That was the first time we ever spoke. The first time ever, before then we had never even said hi to each other in the corridor. That conversation was the first of many. I don't remember them all. I remember when I first fell in love with him though. It was the day of our first reaping. After I'd got into my only dress and tied more hair up in two neat plaits, I went to Carter's house. When he opened the door, he just looked so cute in his suit, I fell in love with him. I think I liked him before that moment, but that was the moment I realised. That was the moment I went he was the one.

He didn't notice me for another six months though. Or maybe he did and we just never realised we liked each other. Either way, I spent six tortuous months being his best friend. In those six months we grew closer than ever. He stopped people at school picking on me, and by the time the victory tour rolled around, I could barely take my eyes off him. I had a constant ache in my heart to be with him. When I was with him, all I could picture was our hands holding and lips touching. His soft touch, pushing back a stray strand of hair. A loving look in his eyes. Those six months I grew to love him so much more. His little habits. His quirky ways. I fell in love with it all.

The winner was a girl from 2. When she came to 1, she was wearing a red silky dress that flowed to her knees.

"That dress is beautiful." I whispered to Carter when I saw it. He looked at me and everything between us changed. Everything that was or ever could be. We were no longer just friends.

"Not as beautiful as you." He replied and then we kissed. It was perfect. There was no other way to describe it. That was when before became now.

Watching him commit suicide in the games was the most painful thing I've ever done. I get why he did it though. He loved Sapphire and did the only thing he could to make sure she lived. I don't blame her like her parents do. Carter was always stubborn. She would never have been able to change his mind.

Sapphire didn't really speak to me much once she got back from the victory tour yesterday, she was in the attic for most of the time. I knocked on her door when I went up to bed and she seemed a bit upset, but that was bound to happen over the victory tour. I just go downstairs to make some breakfast when I see a note on the table. It's addressed to me.

 _Dear Zoey,_ [the note read]

 _I'm so sorry. I just wasn't strong enough to carry on. Whatever you do though, whatever you do now, don't blame yourself. This is so much more than just us. What I am going to tell you will put your life in danger, so pretend you don't know anything about this note. Burn it._

 _When I was at the presidential palace, Snow came up to me and threatened me. He said if I didn't become a well a... I had to have sex with whoever would pay him a decent sum of money. He told me if I didn't do it, he'd kill you. Not just you, everyone I love. So I did. But I can't do it. I can't play his sick little game. It was my life or yours. I had one of three options. 1) I carry on as a prostitute. I couldn't do that. I felt trapped, like I was drowning. It wasn't really an option. 2) I could let him kill everyone I love. That wasn't really an option either. I had already lost Carter. I can't lose anyone else. 3) I stop living. Nothing can be worse than this. It would mean those I love are safe._

 _So yes Zoey, this is what I have picked. Suicide. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough for you. I just can't go on like this. Rose will look after you. Once you've burned this note go to her house._

 _I'm sorry this is the way it has to end, after everything I've been through. I can't see a way out though. A way through this web of lies. The tangle of deceit. This knot of death. And for that, I'm sorry. Live a god life for me Zoey. That's all I ask. Carter wouldn't have wanted you to have mourned for the rest of your life, and neither do I._

 _With all my love_

 _Sapphire_

I sigh. I wish she had told me sooner. I read the note until I have memorised it and then drop it in the fire and watch as it is consumed by the white paper turns brown and furls in on itself as it ashes.

My whole I kind of divided into two parts. Before and now. Before Carter, and then now. But Carter's gone. Now is over. After has begun. After, after it all. After Carter, after Sapphire, after the reaping that killed the two days people closest to me. Directly or indirectly. If it weren't for the reaping they'd still both be alive. I want to kill the whole Capitol.

I go up to the attic. That'll be where she died. I see I'm right when I see body hanging from a rope attached to the ceiling. That's when the grief hits me. The web of lies have now ensnared me.


	2. Chapter 2: A tangle of deceit

**I know I said I wasn't going to start this fic for a while, but personal stuff has happened and I needed to escape to another world so I ended up writing this chapter and half the next one. This takes place the day after ***Spoilers if you haven't read the 63rd hunger games*** Sapphire commits suicide. I originally planned for this story to be only two chapters long but I think its gonna end up being between 5 and 7. Updates should be out every week or at least every two weeks. Enjoy and please tell me what you think.**

 **Chapter 1: A web of lies**

Zoey's POV

Sapphire's been acting really weird since she came back from the victory tour. I think it's just because it stirred up stuff with Carter again though. It's best to give her space when she's upset. We don't really talk about Carter much, I bring him up in conversation her eyes start to water and I hate seeing her like that. She's like a sister to me. A sister crossed with a mum and a best friend. I was so glad when she offered to take me in. My parents used to beat me but I couldn't tell anyone because I'd have had to move to a community home. From what I had heard, community homes sounded a lot worse than my parents hitting me.

Carter was the first person who ever properly cared about was before. He saw a bruise on my arm. He asked me who did it.

"My mum." I replied. There wasn't much point in lying. No one would care if I told them the truth.

"I have some salve for bruises at home if you want me to bring it in?" That was the first time we ever spoke. The first time ever, before then we had never even said hi to each other in the corridor. That conversation was the first of many. I don't remember them all. I remember when I first fell in love with him though. It was the day of our first reaping. After I'd got into my only dress and tied more hair up in two neat plaits, I went to Carter's house. When he opened the door, he just looked so cute in his suit, I fell in love with him. I think I liked him before that moment, but that was the moment I realised. That was the moment I went he was the one.

He didn't notice me for another six months though. Or maybe he did and we just never realised we liked each other. Either way, I spent six tortuous months being his best friend. In those six months we grew closer than ever. He stopped people at school picking on me, and by the time the victory tour rolled around, I could barely take my eyes off him. I had a constant ache in my heart to be with him. When I was with him, all I could picture was our hands holding and lips touching. His soft touch, pushing back a stray strand of hair. A loving look in his eyes. Those six months I grew to love him so much more. His little habits. His quirky ways. I fell in love with it all.

The winner was a girl from 2. When she came to 1, she was wearing a red silky dress that flowed to her knees.

"That dress is beautiful." I whispered to Carter when I saw it. He looked at me and everything between us changed. Everything that was or ever could be. We were no longer just friends.

"Not as beautiful as you." He replied and then we kissed. It was perfect. There was no other way to describe it. That was when before became now.

Watching him commit suicide in the games was the most painful thing I've ever done. I get why he did it though. He loved Sapphire and did the only thing he could to make sure she lived. I don't blame her like her parents do. Carter was always stubborn. She would never have been able to change his mind.

Sapphire didn't really speak to me much once she got back from the victory tour yesterday, she was in the attic for most of the time. I knocked on her door when I went up to bed and she seemed a bit upset, but that was bound to happen over the victory tour. I just go downstairs to make some breakfast when I see a note on the table. It's addressed to me.

 _Dear Zoey,_ [the note read]

 _I'm so sorry. I just wasn't strong enough to carry on. Whatever you do though, whatever you do now, don't blame yourself. This is so much more than just us. What I am going to tell you will put your life in danger, so pretend you don't know anything about this note. Burn it._

 _When I was at the presidential palace, Snow came up to me and threatened me. He said if I didn't become a well a... I had to have sex with whoever would pay him a decent sum of money. He told me if I didn't do it, he'd kill you. Not just you, everyone I love. So I did. But I can't do it. I can't play his sick little game. It was my life or yours. I had one of three options. 1) I carry on as a prostitute. I couldn't do that. I felt trapped, like I was drowning. It wasn't really an option. 2) I could let him kill everyone I love. That wasn't really an option either. I had already lost Carter. I can't lose anyone else. 3) I stop living. Nothing can be worse than this. It would mean those I love are safe._

 _So yes Zoey, this is what I have picked. Suicide. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough for you. I just can't go on like this. Rose will look after you. Once you've burned this note go to her house._

 _I'm sorry this is the way it has to end, after everything I've been through. I can't see a way out though. A way through this web of lies. The tangle of deceit. This knot of death. And for that, I'm sorry. Live a god life for me Zoey. That's all I ask. Carter wouldn't have wanted you to have mourned for the rest of your life, and neither do I._

 _With all my love_

 _Sapphire_

I sigh. I wish she had told me sooner. I read the note until I have memorised it and then drop it in the fire and watch as it is consumed by the white paper turns brown and furls in on itself as it ashes.

My whole I kind of divided into two parts. Before and now. Before Carter, and then now. But Carter's gone. Now is over. After has begun. After, after it all. After Carter, after Sapphire, after the reaping that killed the two days people closest to me. Directly or indirectly. If it weren't for the reaping they'd still both be alive. I want to kill the whole Capitol.

I go up to the attic. That'll be where she died. I see I'm right when I see body hanging from a rope attached to the ceiling. That's when the grief hits me. The web of lies have now ensnared me.


	3. Chapter 3: A knot of death

**Sorry it's a few days later, I'm writing this fic on my phone and I haven't been able to get internet on it for a few days. After this chapter there will be one more chapter but it's gonna be pretty short, so I should be able to put it up on Saturday. I hope it enjoy and let me know what you think.**

Cressida's POV

I've managed to blend into Capitol life well. I go to school, get average grades, laugh about petty things with my friends. Today I'm taking my first step to look more like people from the Capitol. I'm getting tattoo. It's not just a tattoo though. I'm getting it on my head. So I'm getting my head shaved.

The tattoo I'm getting is of green swirly vines. I'm getting them so they go around my head in the shape of a C followed by an S. They're my new initials. That's what people will assume when I get them. They're also the first letter Carter's name and Sapphire's name.

When I come out of the parlor, it feels kinda weird not having any hair. I look so different without it. I look like I'm blending into Capitol like though. They'll pay less attention to me if they think that.

"Hey Cressida," I turn, it's Messalla, a guy I'm sort of friends with at school. "Your tattoo looks cool." I say friends, I'm not really friends with anyone, they're all so fake, but he's one of the people I pretend to be friends with.

"Thanks," I smile at him. "Want to go for a coffee?" I ask. Most people from the Capitol do that if they see someone they know, so I've started doing it too.

"Sure." He smiles. "Where'd you wanna go?" He asks.

"I don't mind. You choose." He shrugs and starts leading me to a small cafe on a street corner that I've never even seen before.

"Have you started that films studies project yet?" I ask him. We're in the same class for films studies and we've been set a project to make a mini film documentary thing about something that interests us.

"No," He says, sitting at an empty table. "I can't think of anything to do it of."

"Same." I smile as a waitress comes up.

"Are you ready or do you want another couple of minutes?" She asks.

"I'm ready." I say and Messalla nods. She takes a notepad and pen out of her pocket.

"What can I get you?" She looks at Messalla.

"A latte and millionaire shortbread." He says, leaning back on his chair.

"Is that the mint shortbread or the normal one?" She asks.

"Normal."

"Okay," She scribbles his order down. "And what about you?" She looks at me.

"A mocha and cherry flapjack." I say.

"It'll just be a few minutes." She says, hurrying off.

"Are you going to enter the writing contest at school?" Messalla asks me after an awkward silence. They're doing this creative writing competition at school. You have to describe the best mutt that could be used in the competition. The three best will be actually designed, made and used for the final battle. It's sick.

"No," I say shortly. "I don't really like writing." Its more to do with what I'm writing about and the prize, but I could be killed for saying that. "Are you entering?" I ask.

"No, I don't really watch the hunger games."

"How come?" I ask him. He shrugs and the waitress comes back with our orders. She places our cups and plates gently in front of us.

"If you want anything else just ask." She smiles and walks off.

"So why don't you watch them?" I ask him again. He shrugs again.

"I dunno, never really seen the point." I have a feeling he sympathizes the districts. I've seen a couple of people who don't really talk about the hunger games. All anyone is talking about at the moment is the hunger games. The reapings are in a few weeks. I wonder if I'll know wither of the tributes from 1.

My new parents are taking me to the tribute parade and the interviews. I don't want to, but I have to pretend. Pretend I'm super excited. Pretend I'll have a great time. Really, I'll be trying not to vomit.

"Do you watch them?" He interrupts my trail of thoughts. I shrug. I had to back home in 1. I didn't really know what I thought back then. I just wanted it to be someone from 1. I was never in much danger of being trapped because there were loads of volunteers. Messalla leans in. "I know you're not really called Cressida." Is this some kind of test from Snow.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I say, biting my flapjack and chewing quickly.

"I know you're really Zoey Slater. I hacked the systems." He says. There's no way someone from the Capitol could have hacked the systems. "They wiped your memory. You're really a girl from District 1." I have to get out of here.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what kind of drugs you're on, but go and see a doctor." I say standing up.

"Cressida, please let's talk." He looks around. People are staring. "Somewhere quiet." I walk out and he throws some money on the table and follows. "I know you're scared, I would be too."

"I want you to leave me alone." I say, walking on. I need to get to my house.

"Please. You want to know the real reason why I don't watch the hunger games?" Keep walking. Keep walking. I repeat it to myself over and over. "Because it's sick. Sending innocent children into an arena, forcing them to fight to their death. It's wrong." I stop. Maybe he is my friend.

"Why should I trust you?" I ask.

"Because we can make it. Escape. I found other stuff when I hacked the system. District 13 is still out there. They've gone underground. We can make it there." He looks so full of hope. I don't have that hope anymore.

"I can't, if I do anything wrong here, they punish someone I know back home. A victor called Rose."

"Zoey, I am so sorry." It's the use of my actual name that scares me the most. Zoey.

"What?" I ask.

"It was on the news earlier. Zoey, there was a rebel attack. Only a minor one, but Rose was caught in the crossfire. She was shot and killed. They announced it earlier, they probably only announced it because she was a victor. The rebels were publicly executed." I have no one left. I didn't even know Rose properly. The Capitol have no hold on me now. "Zoey, are you okay?" He asks me.

"When do we leave?" I think I'm breaking free from this web of lies. This tangle of deceit. This knot of death.


	4. Chapter 4: Breaking free

**This one's a really short chapter but I felt I couldn't really merge it with chapter 3. When I first started writing the 63rd hunger games, I never really planned on this happening and was thinking about maybe having Zoey and Sapphire getting together after the victory tour, but my imagination went kinda wild. I hope you have enjoyed and please let me know what you think.**

Cressida's POV

12 years later

Katniss asked me to go to her house today. To talk to her and Peeta.

"You never did tell me why you left the Capitol." She said.

"The Capitol was never my home. I was never born in the Capitol. I come from District 1." I spent the afternoon telling them the story. It felt good telling someone. I talked about it a little with Messalla, but he's gone now. He would have been happy knowing that we succeeded though. A part of me will never recover from all I've been through. And that's okay. If it means generations of children won't be put in the hunger games, it'll have been worth it.

I helped do what Sapphire didn't have the strength to do. I helped do what Messalla tried to do. And I made Carter proud. Even if people never really saw me a part of it. Who wants to see the bits with the camera crew in after all? They just wanted to see the mockingjay. I was a part of it though. I will always be Zoey Slater and Cressida, the mockingjay's personal camera woman and this is my story. And no one can take that away from me.


End file.
